Those of us socialized as men too often go through our lives mostly alone. We have little support - inner or outer resources - to create emotional intimacy with pretty much anyone except our sexual partners - who are usually women in the case of the cis/het men I work with most - and even then the emotional connection often leaves a lot to be desired. At worst this can lead to violence, abuse, depression, and despair. Or in the more subtle forms, quiet desperation and listless trodding along.
The antidote doesn’t have to be complicated but given our long histories (depending how long we’ve been alive and socialized as such) of emotional isolation, it takes time and intention to shift towards closeness with others (especially with other men given the wounds many of us carry and the stigmas fueled by homophobia and other aspects of toxic masculine culture). So we come together with some tools, practices, intentions, and guidance to help create a container that supports transformation.
In my decades of experience, a group of men coming together without some scaffolding - even if the intention is there - partially or wholly defaults to patterns that do not lead to connection and transformation.
I’ve been facilitating groups for more than twenty years and in the last few I’ve put most of my attention on creating tender, loving, healing space. I bring a balance of leading with learnings and trusting the group’s knowledge and emergence. I leverage a multitude of practices, lineages, tools, and wisdoms from my personal engagements and various areas of expertise and study. You can learn more about my lineage, teachers and trainging here.
At the heart of my work and the groups I lead is a fierce loving commitment to nonviolence and collective liberation. I draw much from my Jewish roots and take seriously the invitation from my ancestors to practice a life of repairing the wounds of the world (tikun olam, in Hebrew) through the tenacious pursuit of justice. Our work as men is only meaningful in the context of patriarchal violence ending and all those on the margins receiving the support and power to thrive because as the great Fannie Lou Hamer famously said, "none of us are free until all of us are free."